Charming Sweetheart Blog

In front of our house there is a small bakery, very convenient, especially on Sundays.
The owner -Susan - knows us, is always curious, and every time I go there she starts asking me questions.

“Honey, did you go and get rolls yet?”
“Yes sweetheart. I was there just now. The baker wanted to ask me everything and nothing again.”

“Why? What did she want?”
“She wanted to know whether I am getting the croissant for you.”

“Really! Why is that of her interest??”
”She said you´re still so young.”

“What?” Me? What is her problem…”
“She guessed your age as being in the mid-twenties.”

“It is!”
“Honey, you´re 30!”

“Yes but I look much younger!”
“That may be, but…”

“Do you also think I look like mid-twenties?”
“Well, I, ah… no.”

“And how old do you think I look??”
“You look young, beautiful, and cute.”

“And how old?”
“Well, maybe just a little older…”

“Older than what?”
“No, I mean you look more grown up. Not older.”

“So you mean I look old!”
“No, no, I would guess your age as mid-twenties maybe?”

“But you said that I look older than I am!”
“No, you understood that wrong…, I meant…”

“You are so mean!”
“But I just meant… ok. You look like around 20.”

“Really?”
“In business clothes just a little more experienced, maybe around 25 then? Honey?”

“Hm… The main thing is that I don´t look as old as you do!”

Women…

My sweetheart is convinced that all mosquitoes of this world are only waiting for her.
This is why all measures must be made to prevent the invasion of the mosquito army into our home.
Fine…

“Is the window in the bedroom closed?”
“No dear, it´s open. To air the room. Like always.”

“But then all the mosquitoes can come in!”
“Was there a mosquito in the bedroom last night??”

“I don´t think I saw one?”
“See.”

“Is the light off?”
“Yes.”

“Then don´t turn it on either, ok?”
“No. We´re not in the room anyway.”

“But don´t even turn on the light when we´re inside!”
“Honey, but when we go to bed, then…”

“No light!”
“Okay. You will organize this tonight, then, okay??”

“It´s easy: Go into the room in the dark, close the window, turn on the light, go to bed, turn off the lights, open the window again.”
“How are you going to open the window if you´re already lying in bed??”

“I´m not, but you are!”
“Why me?? I have to go once around the bed in the dark!”

“But you opened the window and let all the mosquitoes in!”
“I don´t let the mosquitoes in!!”

“Yes you do! And then they bite me!”
“Honey, okay. Well. I will open the window again tonight in the dark.”

“Hm…”
“Then I stumble back into bed around you. Will you be satisfied then!?”

“No.”
“What?? Why not??”

“Because the mosquitoes will all be inside already anyway!”

Women…

We have two cream-coloured couches in the living room. There is a red pillow on each of both couches.
And of course sometimes we also lie there and relax.

“Honey, are you lying on the pillow?”
“Yes, sweetheart.”

“Would you give it to me, please?”
“Yes, but I´m lying on it right now??”

“Then you can have mine.”
“Why? I feel good with this pillow.”

“Yes but that´s the wrong pillow!”
“What? Why the wrong pillow? What´s wrong with it?”

“The pillow that you have there belongs on the other couch.”
“What?”

“Well, your pillow is dark red with a light red edge.”
“And??”

“My pillow is light red with a dark red edge.”
“Yes, honey, these are our two couch pillows. “And??”

“Your pillow belongs on my couch and mine belongs on yours!!”
“But is this not absolutely irrelevant??”

“No, it´s not. Your pillow matches my couch much better.”
“Ok…well, can we not exchange them later?”

“No and now give it to me!”

Women…

In October, my sweetheart and I have a two-week holiday.
Of course, now the question is, where do we go;
a proper destination must be found…
But I´m sure: the internet will help us!

“Can´t we look online to see what there is?”
“Of course, sweetheart! Just a minute… there! Where do you want to go?

“Let me see!”
“Here: Formentera, Santorini, Malta…”

“No.”
“Or: Teneriffa, Madeira, La Gomera…”

“No.”
“Hm, how about Crete to visit the Greek?”

“No.”
“Don´t tell me you want to go to Mallorca??”

“No.”
“Ok. And where do you want to go now?”

“Somewhere where it´s warm.”
“What? All of this is eliminated because it is not warm enough there??”

“I am not going to go on vacation and be cold there!”
“So you think you would be cold on Santorini??”

“In that column there it says that it´s only 26 degrees there.”
“Do you mean you are only looking at the temperatures?”

“Of course! I want to go somewhere where it´s nice and warm.”
“But you don´t know that beforehand?”

“Well, if it says something there, it will be for a reason.”
“But honey… ok. Would Singapore be warm enough?”

“Is Singapore on the list?”
“No. But it is surely not cold there.”

“Is Singapore expensive?”
“More expensive than Crete for sure… but it is warm, very warm…”

“Is that where the Tsunami was?”
“I think so…”

“Is there nothing warm on the Canary islands?”
“Well…but nothing over 26 degrees. But it is very beautiful there…”

“We must be able to find someplace where it is nice and warm!”
“And how am I supposed to do that?? You don´t like the list!”

“Then look for a different list, there must be one that fits!”

Women…

Everyday my sweetheart and me try to eat dinner together.
It’s always a nice half hour which we look forward to when the workday is over.
Today we have bread, butter and different other tasty things in front of us…

“Luv, would you like anymore shrimp salad?”
“No, go ahead and eat it, sweety.”

“You never eat shrimp salad. Don’t you like it?”
“Yeah. I like it.”

“Then why don’t you finish it. Come on.”
“Er, no, you go ahead and finish it.”

“But I don’t want to eat it all. Then there will be none for you!”
“Don’t worry about it. I don’t want any right now.”

“How about I give you half? How does that sound?”
“No thank you. I’m having cheese right now.”

“You’re only saying that because you want me to eat the salad!”
“Yes, that’s true”.

“So you really do want it?”
“No! Now eat the shrimp salad!”

“But then there will be none left!”
“Yes, fine. Then there will be none left. And, we’ll buy some more.”

“Why? You can have some now!”

Women…